Saturday, January 26, 2008

Burger Wars - Chicago 7

While everyone's been busy jumping from one Boulevard to the Spring and back from the Spring to one Boulevard,

Somewhere hidden far, far away from the galaxy..

There is unrest in the Galactic Senate.

Several hundred solar systems have declared
their intentions to leave the Republic.

This separatist movement, under the leadership of Count
Dooku, has made it difficult for the limited number of Jedi
Knights to maintain peace and order in the galaxy.

Senator Amidala, the former Queen of Naboo, is returning to
the Galactic Senate to vote on the critical issue of
creating an Army of the Republic to assist the overwhelmed

But her ignorance to understand the prawns behind the real situation
has defiled all future galaxies with new armies of Clones
that could be mutated with more of each other mindlessly.

They soon traveled across stars.







Meanwhile, back on a galaxy known as Earth.

A newly opened franchise named Chicago 7 appeared out of no where.

They belong to the confederation that sought all out to continue
the era of a zombified nation.

Serving innocent humanoids
with empty plates to keep them alive.


..serving what LOOKED like empty plates that is.

Upon opening these deadly cloned burgers
that were long condemned to death..

..they started speaking Chinese.

Compared to what was promised unto them :

"For this very day, you shall be blessed with enormous rations, starting with Bar-BQ Cow & Chunky Fries and many others that bring joy and love to all mankind." - Blasphemy 1 : 3

"...and for unto them, it shall all be RM 5.90 " - MoreBlasphemy 2 : 5

Innocent lives were at risks, prophesies foretold never came true,
and to top it off --

They served number of drinks with these paper cups,

all with oceanic images.

The problem is?

Needless to say, humanity will never look at Chicago 7
the same again.

They've made a pact to make a comeback.


"The peanut that yaks." - Mr.Goober

Now bearer of loom, weaver of dreams;
Come visit me also in Dream Web.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

The New Proton Saga BLM

Slipped into my slippers, with rugged jeans I dashed right inside my car slamming the doors while speeding in sweat to reach the destination and skidded out of control, jumped out to SEE ----

.... the malaysian car that should've been put to sleep 6th feet underground more than 20 years ago.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's damn about time Proton did something more than applying cheap foundation products to their now Legendary Saga line.


The New Proton Saga BLM
(brought to you by Mr.Goober's late night show ®)

To tell the truth, I'm actually surprised by the sudden counter attack by our old friend Proton to whack Perodua's ass with something bigger than a stick.

Call me suspicious but this thing stuck onto its window is just too obvious :

Given the price range of just 38k to 42k, it's clearly targeted at the current local market's offerings.

Man, Vios lookalike sedan car for just 40k?! Shrek must've accidentally eaten his gingerbread friend right about now.

So will Perodua Viva's ass be whoopped badly by this? Will there be a new era of Legendary Legend? Or will abortion still continue?

Judge for yourselves :

Color looks good enough.

..and don't ask me about whether they were bribed.

The Campro with new Intake Air-Fuel Module (IAFM).
I think it means you get to dry your clothes with it. I think. I just think.

and the infamous meter light that looks quite similar to its latest first generation saga.

..and you get to put your clothes in that hole after drying it with the new Campro IAFM module.

looks good, but still has that legendary plasticky feelin' all over the car.


plasticky too.

beneath the plastic, lies even more plasticky materials all over it.

The HORROR of cheapness.

well at least it comes with alloy rims and Good Year tyres.

and a good ending.

What do I think?

Judging the car only by its cover will send legions of Proton fans driving over me (if theres any?!). Plus side on the exterior, it's understandable why they're slapping those cheap plastics all over in the inside. But since it's priced at a highly competitive market range, we can just see more of these babies on the road after all.

I just can't believe it.

"The peanut that yaks." - Mr.Goober

Now bearer of loom, weaver of dreams;
Come visit me also in Dream Web.

Monday, January 07, 2008

Permai Beach Escapades

Can't find a better way to start this post off.

Just few months ago I visited Camp Permai in Kuching,
and God knows how many eons I've not been there.

... enough eons for me to be actually surprised with how pretty the beach is.

... and an unending eternity of me gasping at the sight of its clean ocean.

..Salty, murky ocean.

Well it doesn't really matter 'cause we weren't there to enjoy ourselves, see.

What were we there for people???

why its..

The menu consisted the following :

1.) X Factor Poisonous Food Challenge
2.) Deadly Obstacle Courses
3.) Life Threatening Canoing
4.) Black Friday Jungle Tracking
5.) The Haunting Night Walk

1.) X Factor Poisonous Food Challenge

The Challenge : Each team has to gobble up their food during lunch hour.


um... I don't like curry so...


2.) Deadly Obstacle Courses

Too bad I only had a pic of it, 'cause I'm tellin' ya..

There were around 5 types of obstacles we had to go through.
See that small ladder? Look closer to the top.
You'll see small logs, tied with thin ropes.

The Mission? Walk over to the other side.

Now imagine you're shaking, wobbling as you move across slowly
looking as you pull each foot onto the next log..



.... but you were lucky to have gripped onto its rope.

You start to wipe off the sweat trickling down your face,
took a deep breath, and asks yourself..

"How many times have I visited Mr.Goober?"

-Bad Jokes aside- We also had to walk through one thin rope,cling through small pipes, balance through two small long logs and finally climb slowly till the end. The final one?

With both hands tied, we were pushed off an edge - zipped way down in speed onto a net where our challenge ended! One small mistake would have our heads decapitated!

3.) Life Threatening Canoing

Actually, canoing was kinda fun. Sure, one drop into the sea and we'll be reborn as salty peanuts BUT, it's a life time experience to be moving about in the sea with a small canoe, paddling left, then right, as you slowly gaze into the sun set, and the sea breezing gently towards you.

It took about an hour for us to reach the destination where we settled for lunch in boxes.

4.) Black Friday Jungle Tracking

Here's the plan :

Hell, it was hell. I actually SIMPLIFIED those routes we took. An hour canoing was enough to drain our puny arms. Jungle tracking? Puh-lezzz!.

It was a freaky experience, the journey started off on a deserted island.

Initially we had to chop our way into the jungle since there wasn't any clear entrance. Then we had to pluck one of the leaves and put it onto our ear, to tell the forest spirits of our friendly visit.

We were surrounded with trees that are damp, and bunch of hidden monkeys laughing hysterically. All your favourite mini me are there too - termites, ants, dead tree stumps, and oh, did I mention Snakes too?

As we wrestled more into the jungle, the darker it became.

...Things started turning chaotic when we learned that we were lost.

To top it off, our guide was tellin' us freakin' ghost stories right in the middle of the jungle!

One advice he gave was that we should always be in tune with the nature...and should anything happen, we have to pull out small trees and put it upside down so that the spirits will think we're damn bigger than them.

Ghastly stuff aside, we started climbing big rocks, jumped off ledges, and crawled through small openings..ran across rivers and even had to swing from one point to another!

...eventually we found an opening.... after 3 hours later.

Ended up at permai's camp, where we'll finally have our rest...

..or so we thought.

5.) The Haunting Night Walk
(don't read this at night)

Night came.

We were called out, and it was already pitch dark in the night.

Equipped only with a flash light, we were tasked to have a walk through the lonely jungle.

"Listen very carefully, we will identify each person with a number."

"Do not use anyone's name."

"Do not call out any insulting words."

and finally..

"When you see something, ask 'book?'"

"..and if that person replies 'pen' then it's safe."

"If however you called for book 3 times and yet receive no reply...stay silent. And wait for us."

By this time we were already shocked cold, then we were told that 'book' and 'pen' is used as a substitute for calling out names. There were cases were people called out names, and one of them heard their names called then followed... deep, into the jungle and never be found again.

Arranged in a line, we were led by our guide along the bumpy path, lit only by our torches. It was so dark we couldn't see anything but the person infront of us. We walked quite a distance...

....then suddenly I felt someone holding onto my shoulder.

as I turned back, I knew that my time had come.

... to sit down on that spot!

Yeap, we had to sit down on certain zones TOTALLY ALONE.
What's worse? They took our flash lights!

It was at that moment in my life that, for the first time ever,
I felt really, really empty as I gazed towards my other friends who still had their flash lights...

as they walked further, and further away from me, bringing the only source of light with them........ until finally, darkness came.

It was so dark initially I couldn't even see a thing. I could hear that I was sitting in front of a river, God knows what's behind me I just couldn't even turn back to look at it.

I started feeling very desperate, cold sweats trickling down, shivering...all in the dark alone. Then as I slowly regained my eye sight, I started seeing strange glows around the jungle. I thought I was outta my mind so I picked one of those glowing things up but broke it.

Then I heard something emerging from the river slowly.....floating towards my back...

Man...I never knew Atlantic was here in Kuching.

The last thing on my mind was to get the hell out of there!!!!

I had to keep consoling myself that it's a trick played by those pesky organizers!!

But good enough, after going through seemingly an eternity of just 45 minutes, I heard

.... "Book?"



"The peanut that yaks." - Mr.Goober

Now bearer of loom, weaver of dreams;
Come visit me also in Dream Web.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Year 2008 Resolution : Learning Language


Me le ne Mr. Goober.
Ti kanete? Ime hortofaghos...

Apo pou eisai?
Signomi!!!! Thelo ena poto. Yemiste to, Parakalo.
Efhari sto.

Signomi! Mi la te Angli ka? OK!

Afta, efharisto, a di o!

.... man, I never knew Chinese was so hard.

"The peanut that yaks." - Mr.Goober

Now bearer of loom, weaver of dreams;
Come visit me also in Dream Web.